I was walking the Flaggy Shore

I was walking the Flaggy Shore a few days ago.

Clare, the Burren and Flaggy are some of the most special places to me. I go there to reconnect to myself, to my soul, to the earth. I am transported to pure freedom and healing when I go there. I’ve had some of most amazing experiences there, on the land, with the people. I think it is because I allow myself to do exactly what my heart desires when I am there and I live into the magic and the mystery of that place.

Rine, Clare

When I arrived last Thursday I was feeling discombobulated, slightly anxious – just not quite right. It was the most beautiful, icy cold day. The sky was a perfect blue and as I walked along from Linnane’s, past the cove, past the swans at Rine, towards the Martello tower, there were pockets and inlets along the shore that were so still and quiet I had to stop and listen – it was mesmerising.

Yet I could not settle or feel at ease.

I stopped myself and remembered a simple but powerful practice that my homeopath and awareness therapist Monica Rigney has been teaching me for years.

The most powerful practices are usually simple. The simple practices, in my experience, evolve and deepen over time. At first, we do them and it might feel superficial and difficult to connect.

For me, this practice requires that I pause, repeat the words, hear myself say them, and feel the meaning and the magic of them in my body.

I stood still overlooking a quiet inlet along the Rine and asked myself, “what would I really LOVE for me right now”.

I said it a few times both out loud and inwardly, so that I could feel, hear and see my answer.

And it came - what I wanted was to just be right there where I was in one of my favourite places. There was nothing else I wanted, nowhere I wanted to be, nothing else I wanted to do.

The second part of the practice is to give myself permission. A part of the practice that changes everything. It is the key to allowing and stepping into the reality you want. How often we desire something, even a moment of calm, and how we don’t allow ourselves to be in it.

“I give myself permission to be here” I said it again and again. Really taking in my surroundings and hearing the words until I could feel the permission go through my body like a subtle wave. Allowing myself to just be there on the Flaggy Shore, in the Burren, with the sky, the ocean, the birds, the bright Winter sun, the icy wind.

Then, it was like everything transformed around me – I could really see the waves for the first time, hear them for the first time, and feel how they soothed my heart and let me stop being in my head, in the future, in the past. My worries and anxieties melted away, there was nothing to do, everything is done, just be there.

I have repeated this to myself a number of times over the past couple of days, when I notice I’ve gone into my head. When I feeling uncertain or tense. I give myself permission to be exactly where I am. It brings me into my body, into the present moment. I notice the beautiful details of where I am or who I’m with.

Most powerfully for me, it takes me out of my judging and worry mind. It lets my body and nervous system settle and be present. That helps me to understand, there is nothing wrong. It allows me to make decisions and to be present from a place of calm and peace. This is where I have my power, my energy and my possibilities.

Monica has been repeating and guiding me in this practice for years, and the best teachers and mentors repeat their message because it takes time and practise to go in.

I’ve been using this practice to check in with what I really want in all aspects of my life from the practical to the emotional.

It’s made me realise I often make decisions and take action out of boredom, fear, repeating old comfortable patterns. I am not tuning into what I really desire to do or not do in any moment.

Another personal example of how powerful this practice is. There was a difference of opinion in a working relationship I had. I cared about this working relationship and I wanted to clear the air but I also wanted to maintain my boundaries around resources including money which is always a difficult subject.

I used this practice, step one, I asked myself “what would I really LOVE for myself in this situation”.

The answer was, to talk to this colleague and speak my truth.

Second step, I gave myself permission, “I give myself permission to speak my truth to my colleague when the time is right”.

Then, the third step – I let it go. I didn’t allow myself to ruminate, plan, orchestrate or negotiate with myself as to when, where and how I would say what I needed to say. I have to literally feel myself let the energy of my desire go.

All of these steps from the first to last are deeply somatic or physical for me. I go inwards and listen, feel my energy, sensations, the feeling of my body with each sentence, feeling and listening for each word to resonate within me.

What happened next was amazing, and unexpected, I didn’t realise it had even happened until after it had happened. Myself and this colleague happened to be having a meeting a few days after I had done the practice. The contentious topic came up, I didn’t get reactive or even think about it very much as I naturally and calmly described what I thought and how I felt etc. The conversation was not easy, my colleague had their own interests and boundaries which I respected while holding my own ground. I didn’t try to manipulate, push, fight or orchestrate. I just spoke my truth and in the end, without me trying, it worked out perfectly. And our work relationship has gone from strength to strength.

I think part of the power of this practice is that I am orienting my decision making around my inner self, my body, my heart, my intuition. The head and the ego are not in charge, judging, blaming, shaming and coercing me into what is ‘right’.

You can use this practice anytime, anywhere, for anything. Try it and let me know if it resonates.

1.     Ask yourself “what would I REALLY LOVE for myself right now”

2.     Then give yourself permission. “I give myself permission to…”

3.     Let it go and allow your decision to unfold and trust your permission will guide you – you don’t have to manage, control, manipulate, negotiate the outcome

4.     Notice what happens next