I was walking the Flaggy Shore

I was walking the Flaggy Shore a few days ago.

Clare, the Burren and Flaggy are some of the most special places to me. I go there to reconnect to myself, to my soul, to the earth. I am transported to pure freedom and healing when I go there. I’ve had some of most amazing experiences there, on the land, with the people. I think it is because I allow myself to do exactly what my heart desires when I am there and I live into the magic and the mystery of that place.

Rine, Clare

When I arrived last Thursday I was feeling discombobulated, slightly anxious – just not quite right. It was the most beautiful, icy cold day. The sky was a perfect blue and as I walked along from Linnane’s, past the cove, past the swans at Rine, towards the Martello tower, there were pockets and inlets along the shore that were so still and quiet I had to stop and listen – it was mesmerising.

Yet I could not settle or feel at ease.

I stopped myself and remembered a simple but powerful practice that my homeopath and awareness therapist Monica Rigney has been teaching me for years.

The most powerful practices are usually simple. The simple practices, in my experience, evolve and deepen over time. At first, we do them and it might feel superficial and difficult to connect.

For me, this practice requires that I pause, repeat the words, hear myself say them, and feel the meaning and the magic of them in my body.

I stood still overlooking a quiet inlet along the Rine and asked myself, “what would I really LOVE for me right now”.

I said it a few times both out loud and inwardly, so that I could feel, hear and see my answer.

And it came - what I wanted was to just be right there where I was in one of my favourite places. There was nothing else I wanted, nowhere I wanted to be, nothing else I wanted to do.

The second part of the practice is to give myself permission. A part of the practice that changes everything. It is the key to allowing and stepping into the reality you want. How often we desire something, even a moment of calm, and how we don’t allow ourselves to be in it.

“I give myself permission to be here” I said it again and again. Really taking in my surroundings and hearing the words until I could feel the permission go through my body like a subtle wave. Allowing myself to just be there on the Flaggy Shore, in the Burren, with the sky, the ocean, the birds, the bright Winter sun, the icy wind.

Then, it was like everything transformed around me – I could really see the waves for the first time, hear them for the first time, and feel how they soothed my heart and let me stop being in my head, in the future, in the past. My worries and anxieties melted away, there was nothing to do, everything is done, just be there.

I have repeated this to myself a number of times over the past couple of days, when I notice I’ve gone into my head. When I feeling uncertain or tense. I give myself permission to be exactly where I am. It brings me into my body, into the present moment. I notice the beautiful details of where I am or who I’m with.

Most powerfully for me, it takes me out of my judging and worry mind. It lets my body and nervous system settle and be present. That helps me to understand, there is nothing wrong. It allows me to make decisions and to be present from a place of calm and peace. This is where I have my power, my energy and my possibilities.

Monica has been repeating and guiding me in this practice for years, and the best teachers and mentors repeat their message because it takes time and practise to go in.

I’ve been using this practice to check in with what I really want in all aspects of my life from the practical to the emotional.

It’s made me realise I often make decisions and take action out of boredom, fear, repeating old comfortable patterns. I am not tuning into what I really desire to do or not do in any moment.

Another personal example of how powerful this practice is. There was a difference of opinion in a working relationship I had. I cared about this working relationship and I wanted to clear the air but I also wanted to maintain my boundaries around resources including money which is always a difficult subject.

I used this practice, step one, I asked myself “what would I really LOVE for myself in this situation”.

The answer was, to talk to this colleague and speak my truth.

Second step, I gave myself permission, “I give myself permission to speak my truth to my colleague when the time is right”.

Then, the third step – I let it go. I didn’t allow myself to ruminate, plan, orchestrate or negotiate with myself as to when, where and how I would say what I needed to say. I have to literally feel myself let the energy of my desire go.

All of these steps from the first to last are deeply somatic or physical for me. I go inwards and listen, feel my energy, sensations, the feeling of my body with each sentence, feeling and listening for each word to resonate within me.

What happened next was amazing, and unexpected, I didn’t realise it had even happened until after it had happened. Myself and this colleague happened to be having a meeting a few days after I had done the practice. The contentious topic came up, I didn’t get reactive or even think about it very much as I naturally and calmly described what I thought and how I felt etc. The conversation was not easy, my colleague had their own interests and boundaries which I respected while holding my own ground. I didn’t try to manipulate, push, fight or orchestrate. I just spoke my truth and in the end, without me trying, it worked out perfectly. And our work relationship has gone from strength to strength.

I think part of the power of this practice is that I am orienting my decision making around my inner self, my body, my heart, my intuition. The head and the ego are not in charge, judging, blaming, shaming and coercing me into what is ‘right’.

You can use this practice anytime, anywhere, for anything. Try it and let me know if it resonates.

1.     Ask yourself “what would I REALLY LOVE for myself right now”

2.     Then give yourself permission. “I give myself permission to…”

3.     Let it go and allow your decision to unfold and trust your permission will guide you – you don’t have to manage, control, manipulate, negotiate the outcome

4.     Notice what happens next

Subtlety, Stillness and Dreaming, a Winter Solstice

I am driving to the Ox Mountains in Sligo tomorrow to take part in the Next Stage Celtic Wheel Facilitation Training which I am so grateful and excited about. It will be a year-long course where I will deepen my facilitating skills, my knowledge of our indigenous Celtic wisdom all through the lens of Integral theory.

It feeds my desire and confidence to run my workshops, retreats and sanctuaries. My intention is always to create something beautiful, aesthetically and energetically, to share the tools and resources that have helped me, to allow for gentleness and some discomfort and to have fun!

Something about Samhain

From now until December 21st we are in Samhain season - a deep letting go, the shedding. Look around and you can see the leaves are doing just that.

At times they fall in a cascade because of a gentle breeze, gracefully.

Then there are wet, cold storms that seem to take carpets of them down at once, sodden and heavy.

And occasionally you will notice a single leaf drop off, almost unnoticed.

These leaves mirror the losses and letting goes in our own lives, at times they release gracefully and welcomed, other times they are sudden and shocking and then sometimes they can release totally unnoticed by anyone but yourself.

From now until Winter Solstice, what can you let go of? What do you want to let go of? What do you need to let go of? What feels natural?

It doesn’t have to be a painful letting go, it can be easeful, graceful. If your nervous system is tender at the moment, no need to go deep for the difficult stuff, start easy – maybe an old habit or behaviour - the second cup of coffee, the seventh?

Subtlety, Stillness and Dreaming - Winter Solstice

I am a winter solstice baby, born in the first week of January. This is my favourite time of year. I love those days where the landscape is still, nothing is growing, the birds are silent, the roads are quiet, Christmas and New Years are over, dawn and dusk are elongated and almost wrap into one another.

It all lends itself to the gifts of Solstice time – subtlely, stillness and dreaming.

It is the whisper of change as the light returns, the days start to shift infinitesimally towards Spring. The return of the light is signified in the Christian tradition with the birth/rebirth of the Son/Sun.

The stillness allows us space for our heads and hearts to listen for what new potentials, dreams, seeds, ideas, we want to plant, nurture and grow at Imbolg and Bealtaine. It gives us a chance to take a breath, stop our worlds turning and notice what we would like to change. In order to know what we desire, to hear it, we need to stop, rest and listen. I remember the first time I allowed myself to stop, rest and enjoy doing nothing, for the first time understanding that it is an important part in the process of figuring out what is the next best action.

The subtleness and gentleness of this time allow for no decisions to be made, no outward action to take. The sun is at its lowest point, the days and nights are at their darkest so our discernment and understanding, clarity and focus are dimmed.

Can we enjoy this not-knowing, this resting in the cosy darkness of potentials and maybes. It can be just as difficult as running uphill – allowing yourself to stop. This dreaming time reminds me of the night sky, when we stop, turn off the lights and look up, we can see all of the potential and possible stars – some are clustered with others, some tiny, some huge – and then our modern predicament, are they stars or satelites? 

The dreaming, the day-dreaming, imagining, visioning is when allowing ourselves to imagine, see, hear all of the possibilities, letting them all come in, knowing that we don’t have to do anything about it just yet, we don’t have to choose.  

I love the connection between this dreaming and the dreamtime of the Australian First Nations/Aborigine cosmological creation time, when their world was dreamed into creation.

I resonated with Tyson Yunkaporta’s translation of it as the ‘turnaround’.

Turnaround allows for a shift, a 180, a new perspective and I like to allow Solstice time to be a deep shift and turnaround. In the stillness I can allow myself to play and imagine of all the possibilities of change in my life. And I don’t have to get stressed and decide which one is best, there is time for that in Imbolc.

If you’d like to explore some of this – come to my 3 hour workshop on Sunday 15th December. We will explore Human Garage’s fascial manouvers, some reflective exercises, meditation and Reiki.